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I feel most glamorous when I walk
through Target. Look at the sheeple,

now look at me. I've got a
pinstripe blazer. I "do poetry."

I listen to Gwen and Lindsay
but only for the irony. I understand

the Xbox 360 and Lost in Translation
on more levels than you ever do.

And all I'm coming in here to buy
is a marked-down jar of J. Crew.
©2006-2009 ~Incandescent
:iconincandescent:

Author's Comments

When Becca came into the kitchen, she was dressed in something white and lacy and faded— you know, the stuff they call now "vintage" and is the surest mark of cool— and sloshed a decent amount of Barton's vodka in the Dixie cup then followed by the plastic-cork California champagne. I wasn't sure if she was doing that as a friendly gesture, i.e., trying to get me drunk, or serving me something vile. If it was the former, she must have been pretty wasted herself, to not realize that I was really doing fine already myself, although admittedly that had been accomplished before Steve and I had shown up at the party. But she wandered off into the next room shortly after that, probably to grab the bong as it was being passed over & around the people making out, dancing, or doing both. I told Mira she was too quiet, which was sort of a senseless thing to do. I was worse to Mana, considering I don't really know her, but then again, I only asked if she was the Antichrist, and if pouring water on her would make her burn. I didn't even test to see if it was true, and I didn't question her taste in music at all.

Daily Deviation

Given 2006-02-07

The subtle rhyme and tight rhythm of this piece perfectly mimics the confidence oozing from the narrator. Self dated by ~Incandescent - oh, how i wish i was a girl that looked like she understood Lost in Translation. (Featured by `imperfect)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconfrostypeanut:
I love this, both the story (or recollection) and the poem. It seems like you've delved into the average kid's brain and took five minutes out of their day, and it's hilarious. Great job!

--
I know what a prince and lover ought to be.
:iconimperfect:
The artist's comments is a very good start for a prose piece :)

--
are you stalking me?
:iconincandescent:
It would be, but I'm bad at fictionalizing events in my life!

--
love and kisses, baby
:iconkrazy-kai:
wow

:worship:

omg, u're like.

my idol

:
h
e
a
r
t
:

--
Let me indulge in

CHOKOLAT~!~!~!~!!!

She was Good From Far,
But Far From Good.
:iconjason77:
the self dated complete piece thing.. wotever it is i dont understand it but it seems very well writen its like i can interpret ur feelings but i dont even know what ur on about

--
(\ /) im a porn photographer! [link]
( . .)~:heart:
c(")(") my teddyrabbit wants to molest you
:iconzebrazebrazebra:
I really hear a semi-colon after 'sheeple.' But that's my only suggestion on the 'Advanced Critique Encouraged' front - I find this most effective because I actually found the bile rising to my throat just like I do when I meet people of that ilk in person. Congratulations on your feature!
:iconmemphis-poison:
I just love it.
At first I found it a little frustrating that a lot of information that seemed relevant to the poem was placed in the Artist's comments instead of somehow also being incorporated into the poetry, then I took a step back and the way you've set this up really is brilliant.
The overall effect is slick and smooth.
I envy you.

--
"A place to momentarily house all the abstractions."
:iconechidnite:
I don't usually go through the peotry section, but I noticed this as DD and can't help but thatink that's it's great. :D

Details

January 17, 2006
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